Respect Yourself First, Then Respect Others

 Respect Yourself First, Then Respect Others

You have probably heard the saying, “Give respect, take respect.” It still holds true: respect grows when you give it first. But there is an important first step—you need to respect yourself. When you understand your worth and treat yourself with dignity, you can better recognise and value others.

It helps to distinguish between self-respect and self-esteem. Self-respect is about treating yourself with dignity and setting healthy boundaries. Self-esteem is more about how you evaluate yourself—whether you feel confident or capable. The two are related, but they are not the same. You can build self-respect even on days when your self-esteem feels low.

At times, you may meet people with low self-esteem or a poor self-concept. Because they feel low about themselves, they may struggle to show themselves self-respect, and their low self-esteem may show in their tone and language. If people who tend to bully others meet such individuals, they may disrespect them, bully them, or ill-treat them with insulting or sarcastic comments. In those situations, people with low self-esteem may either stay silent and submissive or burst out in anger. As a result, they may face repeated insults and ill-treatment and may not receive the respect they deserve.

It is important to be clear here: bullying is always the responsibility of the person who bullies. Low self-esteem may make it harder to set boundaries, but it does not justify ill-treatment. You can strengthen your self-respect, build a positive self-concept, and practice assertive communication—expressing your needs and boundaries calmly and clearly.

Respecting others matters, but respecting yourself matters just as much. In Eric Berne’s well-known work Games People Play, a foundational text in transactional analysis, he explores the patterns people use in communication and relationships. The idea of “I’m OK—You’re OK” is a transactional-analysis life position often popularised by Thomas Harris. It shows how respecting yourself and others supports assertive communication and win-win thinking. With this framework, if you understand the power of respecting yourself and respecting others, you can build healthier relationships and are more likely to receive respect in all areas of life.

So, start with yourself: treat yourself with dignity, set healthy boundaries, and speak up calmly. Then extend that same respect to others. Respect given from a healthy place is more likely to come back to you.

M.L. Narendra Kumar